Psalm 139:14 says,
"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well."
We know that each one of us has written in our DNA a very unique code. It is a code written in mathematical language that defines who we are, what we look like, or eye color, hair color, height, etc. Much of who we are as a person is due to that code.
It is obvious that our two biological children would have a DNA code that would reflect us as their biological parents. Their DNA is a combination of ours. It is only logical to think that they would look like, act like, and share much of our characteristics and personality traits. However, with an adopted child, this isn't the case. Our daughter shares none of our DNA. She has a completely different source of DNA than her sister and brother. In all honesty, this never bothered me when I considered adoption. It didn't matter what color of skin, eyes, hair, etc. that our child would have. Ethnicity and nationality were of no concern for my husband and I. Likes, dislikes, and personality were not determining factors either. What we did want was what God wants.
Our children were not so willing to jump into the unknown. It worried them to think that their brother or sister might not resemble them. They were scared of how others would react to our family if one of our children was obviously different. Their concerns were surprising, but they mattered, a lot, to God. When our situation description first came, one of the most obvious answers to prayer was the fact that our daughter would be of a similar nationality and physical appearance. Again, let me be clear, this did not matter to my husband and I. It seemed so kind and caring of the Lord to take into account the fears and desires of our children. I remember being struck by the specific requests that He was working out, and the amount of attention to detail that He was demonstrating.
Our daughter doesn't just share some similarities, she fits so perfectly in the mix that complete strangers have taken note. I don't know how many times comments have been made about how much she looks like myself or her brother and sister. In fact, she resembles her grandma and sister so much that people have mistaken their baby pictures for hers! Even L had to look twice. Because complete strangers notice, I have been able to talk to them about adoption in a very personal way. Some people that might not say anything if our daughter was obviously adopted are very comfortable telling me how much we look alike. God knows what He is doing. I know this is only the tip of the iceberg, and there is yet much more to see.
So back to the fearfully and wonderfully made. Our daughter was woven in such a magnificent way that she would not only resemble her birth family, but her adopted family as well. God knew as He wrote her code that she would be a part of our family. It brings back memories of the prayers we prayed in the beginning of our process. We used to pray for the baby that might not even yet be conceived, and for the mother who might not yet be pregnant. We prayed for protection and for health for them both. We prayed that God would give peace and comfort to the mother. We knew that if a mother was choosing adoption that there must be hardship and difficult times in her life. I remember crying for the mother whom God had placed on my heart, not even knowing her name. I loved her and her baby long before I knew who they were. Perhaps that is why the connection we share is so deep. My heart was woven together with theirs before we even met. The bond we have is nothing short of a miracle.
My encouragement to anyone reading this who is considering adoption or is in the process, pray. Pray often. Pray intentionally. Listen to God's direction and pray boldly the desires that He gives. He guides if we let Him. His way is good, perfect, and full of joy. Pray for the mother of your child. Pray for your child. Pray for the knitting and weaving of your baby in the womb. Pray without ceasing! Then rest in His hands knowing He cares for you. Rest, watch, and wait in anticipation to see what He will do. May He richly bless you in the wait and draw you closer to Himself.
